Soft Focus

Posted on Thu Jun 5th, 2025 @ 8:43pm by Lieutenant JG Lovisa Montague & Crewman Raine Ni-ya

2,115 words; about a 11 minute read

Mission: To Boldly Go
Location: Science Lab 2, Deck 6, USS Fenrir
Timeline: Day 11 - after the crew board Fenrir

ON:

Lovisa glanced across to the woman working at the station next to her, watching Raine with a mix of concern and curiosity. Since their run in with Mateo...and learning of the restrictions that had been put on her colleague...she couldn't stop thinking about it. Wondering just what had led to such extreme precautions...and worrying over the impact that must have had on Raine both as a scientist and as a living soul. Lovisa looked back to her own screen, tapping lightly on it for a moment, but the silence only grated on her with the unresolved feelings. "So how many more boxes of other people's equipment do you think we'll need to sort through today?"

"Hopefully none," Raine said as she looked at her screen before she tapped to bring up the diagnostic tools. "Or else I am going to have to talk to Resources about how they train people. If they send them to the Academy to get stupid, or if they were let in based on that in the first place."

Lovisa suppressed a laugh as she shook her head at the words, biting her bottom lip for good measure. "You're incorrigible," she glanced to her with shining eyes. Raine was the kind of woman that came out with sharp one liners that Lovisa knew she shouldn't find funny if she were a kinder and more considerate woman, but just couldn't help it. Perhaps it was *because* it was such a forbidden kind of humour that it made it hard to resist. "Still, it's a nice way to get to know new people...make new friends..." she looked for a reaction to the leading comment.

Raine turned to look at her, her face still. "You know, Lovisa, direct talk works better on me than dancing around a subject. And he is not a friend. He is now a colleague you've saddled with me." There was less harshness in the last sentence though. Mateo had been strange to her, annoying, but at least he knew his stuff. There was a lot to be said for that.

Lovisa turned her chair to face her directly. She'd pretty much just invited it afterall. "Me? I didn't do anything..." she smiled to her, a sparkle of playful innocence in her eyes for a moment before she chuckled softly and knowingly. "I mean, you must admit it was a convenient solution to your problem," she tried with a gentle smile.

"Convenient...yes," Raine said and looked at her before she shook her head, turning back to her work to hide the small smile the other woman brought out in her. "But annoying. It's allowed to be a good and a bad thing at once, Lovisa. And you know what you did, don't play coy."

Lovisa allowed her a soft chuckle that admitted her guilt. Either way, she didn't regret it. Perhaps they could...soothe each others sore spots a bit. "It is important though," she added, her voice turning softer with sincerity. "Those restraints you have, in your work. They seem so unfair," she finally broached the subject, watching her with careful eyes.

Raine looked at her before she shook her head. "They're...necessary," she said after a moment. "It was a gamble. I wanted to...be in Starfleet, to contribute. But they were reluctant to have me. Offering those restrictions up gave them a reason to trust me, as well as them sleeping better at night."

"But why would they need such drastic assurances?" Lovisa asked softly, her voice hushed with a shared sense of privacy and respect as she leant a little closer, keeping it literally between them even though they were alone in the lab. "You're clearly capable, intelligent...your mind works at lightning speeds. You're an asset any science team would be proud of."

"Because I killed people," Raine said as she met her eyes, holding them for a long moment. There was a harshness in her own, both her eyes and voice as she spoke, a raspy note to it. "I killed people, Lovisa. And I planned to blow up the harvesting facilities of my people. My mind was bred for science, I was trained for it. But I am not like you. I am not from a people with...the same social norms and codes of conduct. I don't have the same sense that you do about right and wrong."

Lovisa was taken aback by the ugliness of the words. It took a beat before she could even process them, her breath taken away. Killed people? Blew up a harvesting facility? Her stomach twisted with anxiety at what she had opened between them, and it was hard not to regret her question. But she couldn't step back from it, it was too late for that. The only thing that could ease her now was to try and make sense of it. "I...don't understand, Raine," her voice was soft, almost a whisper, and her eyes showed her confusion, but also her upset.

Raine sighed, sitting down, her shoulders slumping slightly. Seeing Lovisa's distress tugged at a part of her that she usually kept pushed down, locked away. "My people are infertile, except for a small percentage. We've been trying to reverse it for generations," she said as she watched her own hands. She carefully pulled her gloves off, rubbing her fingertips together. A calming gesture. When she spoke, emotion made her voice raspier. "I was selected as a scientist when I was a child, trained to it. It was my duty to...harvest the genetic material we needed to artificially...grow our people. Harvest it from those who were able to reproduce," she looked at her, her eyes focused on her, pupils narrowing with it. "Until I came to the scientific conclusion that we were running out of genetic material, and the cycles of breeding were generating abnormalities. The solution was to free our...Breeders...to be with species that were compatible," she looked away again, taking a slow and deep breath.

"But how do you stop generations of the same behaviour? You can't. So I joined a group of...like minded individuals. We were going to blow up the facilities, make it impossible to continue like we had. But the plans went wrong and I escaped. Went to the Federation," Raine continued as she studied her own hands. "Got asylum. I can't go back. It was...logical to try and stop it, and that logic, that...misguided sense of justice killed...my friends." And had killed her love. But she couldn't speak those words.

Lovisa watched her with dark eyes that hid none of the pain and regret she felt for her. She remained silent for several long moments, trying to put herself in her shoes. But she couldn't. How could she? It was a world apart from her own lived experiences. She looked down with sadness, reaching out to carefully cocoon Raine's hand in both of her own, keeping her hands slightly cupped so as not to actually hold or even touch it much, just keep it embraced between her own. "What a fate you were chosen for," she whispered, the compassion in her voice sincere.

Raine watched the hands cupping hers, the gentle pressure of just someone willingly touching her hand making her throat tighten. She moved her free hand to cover Lovisa's, the first time she had ever touched the woman. She met her eyes, a small smile coming to her. At her compassion. At her acceptance. "Careful, people might think you've got a thing for bald scaled aliens at this rate..." she said, trying to inject some playfulness rather than gruffness. But her eyes spoke her thanks when she couldn't form the words.

"Well that's just a matter of perspective...we must look pretty strange to you with all this pointless hair," Lovisa pointed out, but with a soft smile, taking her cue to move on from the painful moment. "Raine, I can't even imagine what it must be like for you, but whatever has happened, just know that I'm selfishly happy that you ended up here with us."

Raine looked at her with surprise before she gave her a small smile. "Your hair is cute," she finally said and let out a breath. "Thank you. I...know you are my only friend here. One I did not ask for, yet it seems that every bite I do you just...ignore. So I might as well accept it...graciously...I have not had many friends before, Lovisa."

"You should have as many or as few friends as you like," Lovisa replied with a small, knowing smile. Not everyone was a social butterfly. And why should they be? If not having many friends was a place Raine felt comfortable, Lovisa could understand that. "And...I promise not to push you into anymore collaborations...well, for the time being at least," she added the last with a small, playful smile, finally admitting to her manoeuvrings.

"I knew it," Raine said with satisfaction as she narrowed her eyes. "You were trying to expand my social circle, and get my work done. Sneaky. Suitable for an officer..." she tutted before she shook her head, the small smile on her lips. "Don't get too optimistic, I might hurt the kid. And he might hurt me back, who knows. People are unpredictable."

"And so you'll learn it's not the end of the world if that happens," Lovisa replied softly, watching her fondly even as she moved to the replicator, keeping her eyes on her, gentle with sincerity. "You'll learn that people unintentionally and intentionally hurt each other in little ways every day...but the world doesn't end...life goes on...and you learn something new."

"How were you made so...optimistic?" Raine mused aloud as she watched her, her lips parted slightly as she studied her. "So eager to see the best in others, your heart worn so easily for people to see." And use. And Raine would find creative ways of punishing anyone who hurt Lovisa.

Lovisa fell silent for a long moment as she watched her tea appear, smiling gently...but there was something of the bittersweet about it as she took hold of the delicate cup. "Life's too short for games," she said softly, lowering her head a little to breathe in the scent of the steam from the cup. "Or for missing the chance of happiness out of fear it might go wrong."

Raine looked at her before she moved to the replicator, getting herself some tea too. She had become fond of it, not realising there was something that made water better. She looked over at her, at the words, and the tone. "There's a story there," she finally declared and turned to face Lovisa.

Lovisa met her eyes, unsure what to say for a moment. It felt liberating when friends didn't know about her illness. Like there was a space she could live without that weight. But Raine had been so honest in what she had shared with her, even when she clearly found the vulnerability of friendship strange. "My...lifespan will be shorter than many other humans," she finally replied, her voice soft. She was aware it was an awkward way to put it, but maybe it was more comfortable leaning into the other woman's scientific mind. "So...I suppose I want to get a lot of living in. Now."

Raine watched her for a moment, searching her eyes. She could change it. The right treatments, the right manipulations...and then she shut the thought down. No. It did not matter. She couldn't. "Living in the now, not worrying about tomorrow because today is the day you can breathe deeply and taste life," she said instead, a small smile coming to her.

Lovisa smiled with her, surprised by the poetic words from the usually literal woman. They showed she understood though...and it was a relief not to have to explain further. She had come to terms with it over the years, but part of that meant keeping it out of her life as much as possible. "Exactly."

Raine nodded before she looked back at the console. "I understand the sentiment. Still trying to apply it to myself," she said lightly and looked back at Lovisa. "Maybe you can show me how."

Lovisa's smile warmed as she settled down next to her again, bringing her own data up to start analysing. "It would be a genuine pleasure, Raine," she assured her softly.

OFF:

Crewman Raine Ni-ya
Science
USS Fenrir
(PNPC - Hanlon)

Lieutenant JG Lovisa Montague
Science
USS Fenrir
(PNPC - Blake)

 

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