Gravity & Ghost Notes
Posted on Sun Mar 16th, 2025 @ 6:16pm by Crewman Mateo Gardel
Edited on Sun Mar 16th, 2025 @ 7:37pm
473 words; about a 2 minute read
Personal Log – Crewman Mateo Gardel
Medical Sciences Specialist, USS Fenrir
I almost didn’t go inside.
I don’t know why I let myself believe I could walk into a packed bar, sit down, and just—exist. The moment I stepped through the doors, I could feel it—the weight of too many people, too many voices crashing over each other. A pressure in the air, pressing in from all sides, making my skin itch with the awareness that there was no space that was truly mine.
But I stayed.
And somehow, against all odds, I ended up at a table with him.
Constantin Vansen.
He gave me a seat before I even asked. Just slid it out like it was nothing, like it wasn’t some small act of kindness I hadn’t been expecting. And maybe that’s what threw me at first. No questions, no expectations—just space.
I don’t know what I was expecting. Maybe someone who tolerated my presence at best, ignored me at worst. But instead, I found someone open. Someone who looked at me, really looked, and didn’t flinch.
He asked me about growing up on a planet like it was something worth knowing. Like my experience—something so mundane, so ordinary to me—was fascinating. And in return, he told me things I hadn’t expected.
Sixteen years without music.
A childhood spent in a ship with no gravity, no sky, no stories.
That should have been impossible, but it wasn’t. It was his life. And now, he’s here, sitting across from me, learning to exist in a world that was never made for him.
I don’t know why it sat with me the way it did. But I keep thinking about it. About him.
And then—he offered to teach me something.
Zero-G. The one part of training I hated more than anything. The part that made my stomach revolt, that made my body rebel against the absence of up and down. And yet, before I could talk myself out of it, I agreed.
It was stupid. Reckless. A decision made in a moment of warmth I wasn’t used to.
But for some reason, I don’t regret it.
Maybe it was the way he looked at me when he said it—like he wasn’t just offering to teach me how to move in weightlessness, but offering me something else entirely. A connection. A chance to understand something through his eyes.
Or maybe it’s just because for once, I don’t mind the idea of spending more time with someone.
I don’t know what this is.
But I think I’d like to find out.
End log.
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